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YTP: Superdooperasdfcompmovie
Transcript (Intro Skit) Citizen 1: (spots a flying saucer) Alien attack! Rebel: Throw the CHEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!! (throws cheese at flying saucer) (everyone stares) Alien: (Baby's deep voice) You Fool. (The Title theme plays) (static) Man on Left: Hey guy, smell my flower. Man on Right: (guy sniffs flower) Mmmmmmm (A monster comes out of the man on the Left's Flower) Man on Right: LOL! Announcer: LEVEL UP!! (static) Man: Steven, I got to ask! How the devil do you keep your house so clean? Steven: Well that's easy man! I'm half cow! Man: Holy marry mother of... (static) Narrator: And now... PINEAPPLES. Man: This does not help. (static) Woman 1: My boyfriend said I'm the most beautiful girl in the world! Woman 2: (holding a knife) Hey, you wanna play catch the knife? (gets stabbed to the ground) Woman 1: *demonic voice* THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE! (static) Guy 1: Hey. it says 'Gullible' on the ceiling. (AVGN's voice) Again! (guy 2 looks up, the ceiling says 'Gullible') Guy 2: Oh... (The guy on the left grabs the guy on the right's lungs) Guy 2: Aw, come on!!! Guy 1: Gullible. (static) Mother 1: Hey kids! I brought you some cookies! Kids: cheer Mother 2: JIMMY! (The woman and the kids give poker faces.) Mother 2: CLEAN YOUR ROOM! (static) Voiceover: Coming This Summer. President: Dammit Jenkins, a giraffe will never be president. Jenkins: Yeah, you're probably right! Cow: Yeah, me neither! Voiceover: The Giraffe that wasn't Preseident... Rated R! (static) Little girl: Marmite, have you seen my pony? Marmite: Yes. (The little girl smiles.) Horse: *Runs over to Marmite and tramples him* WHERE?!?! (static) Man: Marmite, why does no one like you? (man bursts into flames) Man: Oh yeah... Marmite: (Tie's voice) (Sinister laugh) (static) Man on phone: Hey, uh, how do I get to your place again? (slight mumbling from phone) Man on phone: Ok, thanks. (The man hangs up the phone and his car crashes into a wall.) Dude: Classic. (static) Boss: Steve, I'm giving you a promotion. (Steve smiles.) ("Nostalgia Critic" in black, bold letters briefly appears across screen) Voiceover: (AVGN's voice) Nostalgia Critic. Boss: Yep, now you're fired. (Steve frowns.) (static) (John opens a door.) John: Honey, I'm home-- MARMITE! What are you DOING?! (Marmite appears in bed with John's wife.) Marmite: I'm sleeping with your wife, John. John: Uh, yeah...you are. Cow: Yeah, me neither! (static) Customer : I'smory, what is that for a restaurant i mean this thing is still alive. Lobster: He's on to us, commence the pitching! Customer: No, no! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Man: I'll save you! Tree powers, Activate! (The man turns into a tree.) Man: (Tom's voice) This isn't working! (static) Man: You gotta help me man! My tie is evil and it's gonna kill meeee... (The other man backs away) Man: Please don't hurt me... Tie: (Joker's voice) *Sinister laugh* (static) Man: Hello, parking meter! Meter: (AVGN's voice) I'm the fucking nerd! (The man becomes surprised.) (static) Man: I baked you a pie! Kid: Oh, boy! What flavor? Man: Pie flavor. Pie: But it's opposite day. (Both men and the kids turn into pies) Man: (Man on right's voice) OWW!! What the hell is wrong with you!?!? (static) (A song plays in the background.) Girl: I like singing! Boy: I like dancing! I Like Trains Kid: I like trains. Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. (Pineapples appeared but I Like Train Kid got confused) I Like Trains Kid: (Man's voice) Hmm. (static) (A son is holding a bowl with salad when The Salad Punching Dad hits him knocking the salad out of his hand. He starts punching it) Son: Aw, what is wrong with you?! Stop it, Cut it out, Dad! I don't want thi-- Salad Punching Dad: I AM PUNCHING YOUR SALAD!!! Son: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! (static) Guy 1: Oh, no, I spilled my milk! Guy 2: You've killed us all! Guy 1: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO- (House floods with milk and drowns both mens then gargle) (Guys grave is shown title Death by "Milk drown") Man: Doctor, I think I might be a homosexual! Doctor: How can you tell? (Man vomits Rainbow) RAAAAAAIINNBOOWWWSS Doctor: (Tomska's voice) Oh that was really on call for! (static) Man: Ha Ha Ha Ha! I can't read! (AVGN's voice) Again! (static) Clown: Haha! They said I could never teach llama to drive! Llama: BAAAAAAAAA-- Clown: No, Llama, Nooo! (The Llama drives clown off a cliff.) Narrator: SUDDENLY... (Car crashes and llama runs around screen) Mine Turtle: Hello! (static) Man 1: Hey man! Look at my new dog! (looks down, dog panting) Man 2: Oh yeah? That's pretty cool... (static) Harold: What are you up to, son? I Like Trains Kid: I like trains. (AVGN's voice) Again. Harold: Haha! Yes, you do. (long pause) (static) Teacher: Hello, and welcome to Standing Up School. Do the Flop Guy: (slides into students and the teacher) Everybody do the flop!!! (everybody flops face first on the ground, except the teacher) Teacher: Aaand you failed. (points stick at all the students who fell) (static) (Ranger plays trumpet) Policeman: Hey, you got a license for that? Ranger: What are you - A man? Or a mouse? (blows trumpet into his ear, like shooting himself with a gun, killing the Ranger himself) (static) Singers: ♪ Desmond The Moon Bear! ♪ Desmond: How did I get here? Cow: Yeah, me neither! (static) Waffle: Did somebody say "Waffles?" Guy: No. Waffle: I have brain damage! Muffin: But I wanna die! (static) Guy: Joey, did you eat my sandwich? Joey: I am your sandwich. (Guy swallows Joey) (Joey's grave is shown in words 'Swallowed to death') (static) Potato Killer: (from asdfmovie2) Die potato! Potato: Noooooooo!! I Like Trains Kid: I like trains. Potato Killer: Oh no no no wait- (potato killer and potato get hit by train) (I Like Trains Kid smiles) (static) Guy 1: Here, hold this. (Sticks sword into Guy 2's stomach and walks away) Guy 2: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (static) Internet Kid: I'm gonna do an internet! (presses a key on the keyboard, but...) (AVGN's theme song plays) Oh... Reader Guy: Well I'm gonna do a book! (touches an open book, nothing happens) Aw... (static) Man: Mmmm... Yum! (cutting the cake) Cake: AAAAAAHHHH- (colors bars) (static) Billy: I wanna be a pie! Pie: (Nerd's voice) But it's opposite day. Billy: (Reader Guy's voice) Aw... (static) Mugger: You're gettin' mugged, kid! Kid: (shaping hands into "guns") No, you're getting mugged! Mugger: (Nerd's voice) But it's opposite day. Kid: AAAH! AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (static) Father: Hey, son! Catch! (throws ball) Billy: Ok, dad! I'm going to catch it! I'm going to ca- (gets squashed by ball which never changed size to match perspective) (Billy's grave was shown) Mother: Billy, Noo! (static) Snarky Man: Nice hat. Magician Guy: Thanks! Snarky Man: I was being sarcastic. Magician Guy: Well, I stole your face! (snarky guy slaps on his blank area where his face was and he collapsed to the grounded) Magician Guy: (Guy 2's voice) Hehe (zooms in), comedy. (static) Johnny: Hey, Bobby! Play that one about falling down the stairs! Bobby: Sure thing Johnny! (Bobby falls downstairs and hits the piano, and plays a sour note. But Bobby's grave was showed) (static) Doctor: Sir, you appear to have a very severe case of... baby voice. Sir: But mother, I love him! (static) (Guy is being hit by muffins) Guy: Aw, man, you ever going to run out of muffins?! Muffin Man: (Deep accent) No. Because I work at ze muffin factory! Guy: Oh! (static) Little Girl: Mommy, mommy! Look, a turtle! Mine Turtle: Hello! Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. Little Girl: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (Holding the pineapple) (static) Dad: What are you drawing, honey? Daughter: I'm drawing a bear! (Is revealed to be drawing the bear on a bear) Bear: Nom. Dude: Classic (static) Guy: Hey, what'd you get for your birthday? Birthday Guy: But... BUT.... BUT... *holds up a book called 'Stabby Princess III'* This isn't what I wanted! (Awkward silence) Guy: That is weird! (static) Guy: (from asdfmovie7: deleted scenes) Hello, Mine Turtle. Mine Turtle: (from asdfmovie7: deleted scenes) Hello! Man: Oh no, I am NOT stepping on you. (3 second pause) Guy: (TomSka's voice) Wanna practice kissing? Man: What! (static) (worker presses a button on the elevator, then leaves just before it opens up) Dude: Classic (static) Waffle: *smack smack smack* Waffle: My mouth tastes like teeth! Muffin: WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DIIEE?!?!?!? (static) Brian: Hey, Stacy! You wanna go do the prom with me? Stacy: Uh, I'm sorry, but I'm a ghost. Brian: But you're not dead. (Stacy shoots herself in the head with a gun) (Stacy's spirit floats upwards) Stacy: Bye, Briaaaaaan. Narrator: SUDDENLY... Girl: So beautiful out here. Boy: Yeah, it's just me, you and the moon. Stacy: Bye, Briaaaaaan. (Going up to heaven) (long pause) Boy: (Alan's voice) What? (static) Eddie: You're leavin' me? Zelda: Sorry Eddie, I've met a REAL man. Dude: Classic. (static) Conspiracy theorist: Oh no! Giant flying SHEEP! Witness: ...Those are clouds. Conspiracy theorist: Oh! (static) Larry: What's going on, guys? Man: Larry, this is an invention. You need to stop breaking people's necks. (Neck Cracks) Larry: What are you taking about? Man: Larry! Larry: What? Man: This Intervention. (Larry got confused) Larry: Oh! (static) Father: Happy BIRTHD- (pause) Wife: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH! (pop) Doctor: It's a boy! (Long pause) Father: Oh! (static) Stupid Guy 1: Hey, buddy! Turn that frown upside down! Stupid Guy 2: Okay! (breaks his neck and faceplants on the ground) Dude: Classic! (static) Guy 1: Hey, did you know that carrots are good in your eyesight? (Guy 2 sticks carrots in his eyes) Guy 2: (Alan's voice) What? No! (static) Mom: Jimmy. Take out the dog. Woman: Aw, what's his name? Dog: His name is David. Jimmy: (David's voice) Hello! I am David. Mother: AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH- (static) Near Boy: (points away) Is this you? (Pregnant Woman explodes) Newborn: Hello, I have been Born! Near Boy: (wave to the newborn) Hello! (static) Man 1: You want a piece of me?! Baby: Beh. Woman: No... Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. Woman: You can have it! Man: Guy: Thank you! (takes the pineapple and leaves) (static) (A guy is standing with his phone buzzing and ringing. He answers it) Guy on phone 1: (off-screen) Hey, uh, can people fly? Guy on Phone 2: (Alan's voice) What? No! Guy on Phone 1: (off-screen) That's a shame. (The Phone hang up) (static) Magician: Hey, what's that behind your ear, (reaches behind the girl's ear and gasps) It's a hearing aid! Girl: I want an Ice Cream? (static) Guy 1: *Rubbing his chin* Hmm... this is not my arm. (Camera zooms out) Guy 2: Hey, your chin feels nice. Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. (Guy 2 got confused, but) Guy: Your chin feels nice. (static) Singer: Patrick has a hole in is head! Patrick: I don't even know why I have this?! (static) Orphanage Master: The orphans... They're all dead! What kind of man would do this!? (Mr. Muffin is standing in confusion and disbelif, but he says) Mr. Muffin: ...Somebody kill me! (static) (Close up of a Mime Turtle) (sound of footfalls) (Zooms out as the banana enters the screen, and looks at him to gasp in horror) Mime Turtle: Hello! (static) Guy on Right: Whoa, is that killer whale! Guy on Left: Where? (Bonk) Guy on Right: Oh my god. I don't see any killer whales anywhere! Man: Yes you can! (Whale sounds) (static) Girl: Mom. watch me do this cart wheel. Dad: I sure did, Honey! Dude: Classic. (static) Guy: Are you wizards? Wizard: Yes, yes I Am? Guy: My favorite! (static) (The sun is looks bored) Saturn: (orbiting round sun) You're fat! The Sun: WOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! (static) (Two people standing) Guy 2: I am a very tall midget. Guy 1: (Alan's voice) What? No! (static) Man: Hey! You know who's gay? Yo-- (he and other guy get hit by train as I Like Trains Kid smiles) (static) Guy 1: Here hold this. (gives bomb to Guy 2) Guy 2: (Alan's voice) What? No! (static) Police Cop: Hey, kid, you can't skate here! Skater: You can't tell me what to do! Narrator: SUDDENLY.... Police Cop: Ma'am, I'm afraid I caught your son doing... (zoom to the big screen for a whoosh) Police Cop: (Cow's whispers' voice) Skateboards! Ma'am: AAAAAAUUUUHUUUGHHHHHH!!!!!!! (static) Muffin: Hey, Joey! You wanna eat me? Joey: (Nerd's voice) But it's opposite day. Muffin: *crying* (static) Man 1: Kitten Fight! Man 2: No, wait! I'm allergic to adorableness! (gets hit in the face by a kitten) (picks up kitten, which gives him a really cute face) Man 2: Aww... Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. (gets hit by a pineapple) Man 2: (Tourettes Guy's voice) OW! (static) Father: Now son, don't touch that cactus. (son is magnetized to cactus) Father: (Ade Edmondson's voice) I HATE YOU, YOU BASTARD! (static) Harold: Honey, why is the baby on fire? (Baby giggles) Wife: But where did I go wrong? (static) Man 1: (Looks angry) Hey, buddy! You wanna take this outside? Man 2: (Also looks angry) Sure! (They go outside) Man 1: (Still looks angry) Wow! What a lovely evening! Man 2: (Also still looks angry) This is a really good-! Moon: Hey! You two should kiss!! (static) Girl: I... I love you, but... (awkward silence, again) Man: (deep voice) she single? (static) Police Cop: Sir, is this your car? Driver: Nope, It's yours! Police Cop: But it's opposite day. Driver: Aw... (static) All Singers, All Melodies and All Symphonies: (sings) The Science Show! Guy: Pianos! (A piano crashes on him and does a low note) Guy: (muffled) Ahhh!! Who's idea was this?! Dude: Classic! (Men 1 and 2 are shown) Man 3: Hey guys check out my new camera! (fires gun at Man 1) Man 3: Oh, wait! This isn't the camera. Man 2: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (static) Doctor: I'm afraid you have one year to live. Patient: Well- *zooming on his face* AAAAAAAH!!! (static) Breadman: You're insane professor doctor, if you think I'll ever tell you where I hit a girl, then you'll have to kill me first. What the (Professor Doctor pushes the toaster as Breadman screaming) (Breadman's grave was showed) (static) Guy (offscreen): Hello, burger! Burger: I used to be a cow. Guy (offscreen): But it's opposite day. Burger: (Alan's voice) What! (static) Mother: Oh, Timmy, don't cry! Timmy: (Cries) Mother: Seriously, Timmy, cut it out! (Timmy continues to cry) Mother: TIMMY!!! This is the worst date EVER! Dude: Classic! (static) (there are two guys, 2nd has a urinal on him. Guy 1 starts to unzips his pants) Urinal Guy: Don't even think about it. Guy 1: Aw... (static) (Salad Punching Dad and son's constant punches) Narrator: SUDDENLY! Salad Punching Dad: Oh, I'm so full. (static) Guy 1: Wow, this game is so realistic! Guy 2: That's not a game! Guy 1: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! (static) Guy: Why won’t this damn fax machine work?! (fax machine rumbles and turns into a giant robot) Machine: (David's robotic voice) Hello, I'm David! (static) Guy 1: Pffft. Screw gravity! (floats away, guy 2 in shock) Guy 1: (Chris Bingham's voice) Help! I'm...stuck on the ceiling... (static) Sheep #1: ♪ Beep beep, I'm a sheep! I said beep beep, I'm a sheep! ♪ Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. (Crickets chirping) Dude: Classic. (static) Doctor: Sir, I'm afraid you had, brain cancer! Guy: But it's opposite day. (The Doctor collapsed) (static) Jerry: Hey Baby you lookin' fine. Little Baby: (Cooing) (static) Man on Right: Hey, cool that? (squish) Man on Left: Well I stole your face! (static) Mom: Here comes the airplane! (Camera zooms right) Hungry: Why did you name me this way? (static) Mother: I think we should just be friends. (leaves him) Guy: (Mr. Suicide's voice) We're all gonna die. (static) (Script in progress) All Singers: Invisible Billy Adventures. Guy: Hey Billy! Catch the frisbee! Narrator: SUDDENLY, PINEAPPLES. Billy: (as the pineapple) This does NOT help! (Slice and Thud) Guy: B...Billy? (static) Girl: I'm leaving you, Jerry. You and your inappropriate reactions. Jerry: (Patient's voice) OH YEAH? *shoots himself* Girl: I'm leaving you... (static) Guy 1: Watch out for that kitten! Guy 2: Oh, that doesn't sound so bad. (Jerry's car bumps into a guy, and it's not a kitten) Jerry: Hey baby! (static) Man: Bobby Seaborn, you're dead, I'm gonna whale on your face. Mother: Bobby, what is that on your face. Bobby Seaborn: (Alan's voice) What? (static) Teen: Man that party was nuts last night! Narrator: SUDDENLY... Child: (giggling) (chasing guy 1 and guy 2 with a blood-stained knife) I'm gonna getcha! (static) Cow: Hi, babe, yes, I am real man. You want to go skateboards? Little Baby: (Cooing) (static) Man: I am going to open this door! (The man opens the door, in which The Angry Video Game Nerd appears in real life) AVGN: I'm the fucking nerd! (static) Man 1: You want a piece of me?! Man 2: Yeah! (Man 1 takes off a piece of his torso) Man 1: Well, here you go then! (But Man 2 drops the torso off his) Man 2: Oh, apparently not. (static) Man 1: I'M FEELING CAR SICK! *throws up a car with the license plate 1CH PWN, killing the person next to him* Man 2: (Dad's voice) Hi Hungry, I'm dad! Man 1: (Alan's voice): What?! Trivia *AVGN spoken word "Again" was reference to Superman 64 in the AVGN episode. *"asdfcomp - killer whales" was uploaded by MoonmenUnit42 on YouTube. Category:Kosta Karatzovalis' ideas Category:Youtube Poop Category:Transcripts not yet complete